Replies
- BI
May 22, 2021Well said. I'd rather enjoy being with someone male or female than just using them for my own gratification. I also don't want to be used for someone else just to get off.
ReactReply - NE
May 22, 2021I just think this proves sexuality is fluid, and the only thing that matters is how people self-identify. Reading the thread, I can see how a lot of people already understand that there are more factors than simply getting off that determines your sexuality. The way I see it, even if you think a person is closeted, everyone deserves the agency to come out when they are in a safe environment or feel ready. Like yeah, I hear the argument against closeted people that are homophobic, but like, there are a lot of gay people that are homophobic believe it or not. I just think minding anyone else's sexuality, no matter the context, is unproductive. Letting "self-identifying" straight people have sex with people of the same gender doesn't hurt anyone, doesn't make them any less of a man or a woman. Something important to know is that this isn't even a new thing. Men historically, both gay and straight, were much closer to each other and intimacy with other men wasn't a big deal until recent generations started becoming afraid of that. And there was a time where the concept of the word "gay" or "homosexual" didn't even exist!
ReactReply - NU
Jul 26, 2021My question is, why is this important, and why is bending the category past breaking a good idea? These are larger questions than what one or two guys decide their identities are. I'll be blunt about how I grew up. In no imagined world was anyone going to say that straight means sex with men. That wasn't even a consideration. The major social organizations and the psychiatric and medical professions were not going to accept that either. The massive social shift that has occurred for all men is because of out gay men and a smaller portion of bi men and no appreciable number of straight men (str8 women on the other hand did show up, as did transfolks) getting the crap knocked out of them, risking their careers, and fighting hard. I know, I was there. Our reward for this hard work was Reagan choosing to let HIV get out of control and kill millions. You read that right, HIV could have been stopped but Ronnie let it go because he wanted us all dead. It's a bit hard to get past, that one. Str8 men are still not showing up for any of the heavy lifting, just so you know. So when the crisis gets managed, and the fight for the right to live free of persecution is nearly over, and it is safer that ever for men who are into men to have discrete, safe, and socially acceptable (way way way more than ever before) sex with each other, the concern is preserving one's heterosexuality while having the sex that someone else fought for but not calling it that. And you know what? I didn't fight for our rights because I wanted to force anyone into anything. I did it because it was the right thing to do, so I am not now going to prescribe for anyone their sexuality or orientation. But from the perspective I have, the questions that are concerned with the preservation of heteosexuality kind of infer that the alternatives aren't desirable. And that's not cool in my books. Do I think that men can have sex with each other and stay pretty much hetero. Sure, and I know a couple. You also know, like every other man who discovers m2m after a certain point, that it feels and tastes and binds you up and spins you around, and in my experience , the guys who casually hit it once in a while or once or twice, Kinsey 9's and 10's. If you do it often, think write watch etc represenations of m2m sex, and this is ongoing for years, and still want to call youself str8, that to me would be a stretch, and the question becomes why and how is that healthy? My last question is, in this scenario, you're worried about being queered by your straight buddy, you will question your own sexuality in this but you assume his. How do you know he's str8? Your only hard evidence of the sex he likes is your own experience.
ReactReply - NJJul 26, 2021
Your post intrigued me. I don't think it is as cut and dry as you suggest. I personally thoroughly enjoy the intimacy when there is an emotional attachment and that is my preference. However that does not discount the pure physical enjoyment of random sex. I now identify as bisexual however when I was in my 20's I would 'allow' guys to suck me but never reciprocate because then I could maintain my 'straight' status. Now, as I said, sex is much more enjoyable if you have a connection with the person but I still would not turn down a BJ from a glory hole. Keep in mind, there are some, for whatever reason, enjoy providing anonymous sex. I guess the bottom line is if it feels good, do it. By the eway, I have never paid for sex. That is another discussion.
ReactReply - BOJul 28, 2021[quote]Of course you can but why worry about labels? Just enjoy the ride![/quote] Yes!! Exactly that.ReactReply
- BR
Jul 31, 2021I see no reason to put labels on what kind of sex you have. If it feels good, do it. The PC police seem to want to label everything and put everything in a box. I have had sex with men and women, not much I have not done. Am I gay? Bi? Homosexual? Pansexual? (insert word)sexual? WHO CARES!!!! Like a couple of others have stated before, just enjoy what comes your way, male or female, and don't be pushy, just enjoy the pleasure.ReactReply - HA
Oct 3, 2021I agree completely but my experience is that is not the case. It seems that the majority just wants to get off or even just find a willing guy and play games and never meet or even get to know one another. A true friend can become a FWB if there is a bond that devleops with mutual interests in other things beside the 0bvious.
ReactReply - BO
Apr 19, 2022I think/believe most people don't want to be labeled as a certain person. It makes it easier to have a conversation if someone put a name on your preference. They difficult part is we believed as mankind for many years that only Hetero, Gay and bisexual existed. But that's not the case and that is also the difficult part. so regarding to hetero men having gay sex. If I would keep it simple 1) They are living to themselves. 2) They don't have better words rather than hetero guys having gay sex. 3) They don't care about labels with a combi of the other two reasons. But even so it can be more difficult then that.
ReactReply - BE
Jun 30, 2023Really agree with you. Secuality may be fludi without need to label it
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