Post #1 above reminds me of something that actually happened. We had a crew of men sent from another state to help us with big project we had going on. One day during lunch break, one of the guys asked another(in a voice loud enough EVERYONE could hear), "Hey Tom, do you remember your first blow job?" . Tom's eyes kind of glazed over as he looked off in the distance and replied, "Yeah, I sure do". The first man then asked, "Well, tell me, did you swallow or spit it out?" The whole crew busted out laughing and Tom just turned red and didn't answer. So now we still don't know for sure.
Two guys go to a party. On arrival theyre told they cant come in without fancy dress representing a sense or emotion. Its 10pm so theres nowhere but the grocery store open.
15 minutes later theyre back. Stark naked. One with his cock in a bowl of custard, the other with two halves of a pear tied round his cock.
I-thought I told you it was fancy dress. What the hell are you doing says the guy on the door. Weve come as you said we should say the guys. How so says the guy on the door. Well, Im fucking dis custard says the first guy and Im in dis pear says the other!
A novice, a nun and a mother superior die and go to Heaven. St Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates and explains that theyre being a bit selective on admissions and that hell have to ask them some questions before they can come in. The nuns agree.
So, St Peter asks the novice an easy question, cos he fancies her and shes a novice: who was the first man?. Adam says the nervous novice. Thats right sister, youre in says St Peter.
St Peter turns to the nun next. Who was the first woman? The nun thinks: Eve she says. Thats right youre in sister says St Peter.
St Peter turns to the mother superior and explains that due to her status her question will be more difficult. What were the first words that Adam said to Eve? he asks. The mother superior looks nervy and thinks and after a lengthy interval says un, er, thats a really hard one Thats right youre in sister says St Peter..
Two guys find themselves taking a leak at the same time in the hotel lavatory. Theyre kinda checking each other out when guy A notices that guy B has WENDY tattooed on his cock.
I think its really sweet that youve made the effort to have your girlfriends name Wendy tattooed on your dick says guy A to guy B . She must love it.
Thats not Wendy says guy B. Thats Welcome to Wisconsin, have a nice day!
Mother Superior gets up in the morning and decides that she is going to be nice to her nuns for a change.
Walking along the Cloister she meets Sister Therese. Hi there Sister she says. Might I compliment you on the embroidery that you are doing. It is really lovely. Thank you says Sister Therese, Could I ask; did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? Mother Superior is a bit hacked off by this comment but decides to turn a blind eye as she gonna be nice today.
A little further along the Cloister she meets Sister Roberta. Hi there Sister she says. Might I compliment you on the bread that you baked yesterday it was the best Ive had. Thank you says Sister Roberta, thats much appreciated but could I ask, did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? Mother Superior is bloody fuming at this remark but shes gonna be nice so just walks on.
Coming to the end of the Cloister Mother Superior meets Sister Agnes. Sister Agnes, youre looking great today, you must have the best starched wimple in the Convent. Thanks says Sister Agnes, Good of you to say so but may I ask, did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning . That does it for the Mother Superior. Im sick of this, no more Mrs nice guy, why the fuck did you have to ask that? Because youre wearing Father Anthonys slippers says Sister Agnes.