Sexual attraction question?

Hello all,I have been chatting to my wife and others about this and trying to find some peace within myself.OK so this is an example I have been chatting to my wife about and others who are not in the swinging scene and a mix of people, some who are older and prudishand all sortsand I have been given various answers.So example is, last time I was at a very busy beach with my wife on a very hot day, naturally I was surrounded by a huge amount of verybeautiful women, most pretty much naked in bikinis which were barleyvisibleand gstring/thongsbottoms. I tried with as much will power as humanelypossible not to look too much and I certainlydid not stare as to make any woman uncomfortable but I am sorry to say I did feel sexual attraction and arousal to many women and found it impossiblenot too, unless I had worn a blind fold there was no other way around it.Now the responses I have had from others from saying the above have been a range from:"You aremisogynistic about your attitude towards women""Ofcourse you did not have to feel sexual attraction to any of those women at the beach, you just have to have self control and just not look at any of them and if you did not to allow yourself to feel any sexual attraction""Well I am a man and I can assure you I would not feel any sexual attraction/arousal or any feeling of wanting to have sex with any naked or almost naked women at the beach, I would only feel sexual attraction after having a coffee and developing an emotional attachment first""You are just seeing women as objects to fulfila sexual desire""As a woman, and I speak for most women, we simply have to have an emotional connect with a man before being able to experience any sexual attraction to a man"I actually agree with the last statement as I think this is true for most women, some women however this is not the case with and non emotional sex is fine and some women are sexually attracted to a man on first sight, but in the minority I think.So would anyone agree with me this is correct? I believe most men are aroused sexually by visual stimuli and I believe if most men were at a busy beach on a hot day surrounded by many good looking naked/almost naked women with thongs/g strings (or even somewhere else on a hot day surrounded by lots of good looking women in leggings and clothing showing off their breasts etc most men would be aroused sexually and it would be impossible to avoid unless the worea blindfold. This is what I think is true and the amount of being treated like some kind of pathetic dirt for this being true for me and what I believe is true for most men, I think it is uncalled for. As I believe this is simply a biological fact for most men and is nothing to do with a man objectifying/sexualizing women at all, its the way most men are designed biologically. To say "ohh you can control it and not look" I think its impossible for most men, maybe some can do it, but for me I have tried to for years and it was impossible and think it probably is impossible for most men. Also I think alot of men refuse to admit to this fact as they know it will not make them popular to admit it to their wife or in society as they know they would be condemnedfor thinking this way and basically want to come across as "ohh what real gentleman, a perfect man" and basically virtual signal to people their so called greatness but are not man enough to admit it due to the reprisals they would get. I am sure some men could be a beach all day and not once feel sexual attraction to any of the naked/sexy women around them unless they enjoyed a cup of coffeeand a chat and developed an emotional connect first but I doubt theres many. I think it takes guts in our society today to admit to this to be honest.Please I hope I am not alone in my feelings on this?

Here's the thing, that visual stimulus thing is a dysfunctional overemphasis created by wearing clothes, shame culture and the way visual media are used to sell food, products, bodies and in porn. What you are doing is saying "I am this way, I haven't done anything really to develop or learn about myself in terms of control and balance, and people reacted poorly to that, but I am perfect the way I am because that's how men are", and then you go on to affirm your bias by making claims about "most men" arguing that there's no gentlemen just lying perverts, and at the end of it, what you're saying is that women exist in the world around you for your uncontrolled and unwanted (usually) arousal. You never consider that maybe, that's not something that is necessarily adult, refined and honestly, a dude who rejects having to make an iota of change when confronted by social censure and just says, I got to its nature, that's a done and dead assertion made by many and it's not anything that is new, useful or even well reflected. It doesn't take guts to express the status quo and offer nothing in return, especially as a reaction to a whole bunch of people telling you, no dude that wasn't cool. If you don't want to take that advice, go for it, but then you have to abandon the space as well, because saying I don't care if I make you all angry in this new setting I am in, it's my show now, and I say this is ok is just not cool. And it wont work, it hasn't and it wont' and thats not me talking from the inside out, thats me talking from not also being accepted in said space but i am also fine with that.

We are not born as a gift to others socially, romantically sexually or with the empathy and social refinement to navigate life with any degree of sophistication. Lots of men believe that they just have to show up, got penis use or don't and all done. I can go to a nude orgy and get aroused openly and freely. I can go to the beach and not be. You actually don't have to look at every woman you see as a sex object and bone up for her. You don't. That's a choice. And if it were you lying there, being ogled by 50 men who were boning up one after the other I would imagine that might be not so much fun for you, not even for me, and I am a big old mo. The thing is you're one of dozens of men who in the course of a day at the nude beach will get caught by women infringing on their privacy and personal space, usually 50 to 75 hits hoots, hollers, boners, lewd propositions and so on per woman per visit is totally normal. And that is shitty for them. Think about that, in two hours, thats every two or 1.5 minutes. I did the survey with women over a few years and it's consistent. They are harrassed non stop and when thats the case the tinyiest extras are just too much more on top.

You describe objectification and then deny it. The body of work is extensive and it goes back to ancient greece, and if you do a little research in hunter gatherer society anthro (modern day) you will see that objectification doesn't exist in those cultures. They don't have a rationalized and idealized and then mass produced body objectification system. That's fashion, porn, and anything to do with marketing and the ideas used are the same as communist and fascist propaganda and in fact, that thing we call PR? It's Edward Bernays, the father of the use of objectification in marketing and media changed propaganda to professionally. Calvin Klein ads are a great example. Not about an individual or a personality, but about an idealized mythologized object. Marky Mark is not the point, the muscles are. He is sculpture for selling briefs and an object (he talks about the damage that did to him actually as one of the first men to be treated like women have been in ads). If you are looking at a woman and go from seeing her to hard without thinking about who she is, what she is like, whether or not she's married or if she would appreciate it, that is objectification, you skip her entirely and get off on her body, she's immaterial. I guarantee, that's not the way it is supposed to be, and you rob yourself of potential too in accepting that as normal and status quo. I had to teach myself and work really hard to stop objectifying women and men. It was years and it took lots of talking and listening.

But I can go and be nude and gay and out and relaxed now with straight nudists and they're not batting an eye, and be with any kind of company sometimes even semi aroused because it happens and no one says boo. Because I project confidence, openness, honesty and my eyes are at eye level. I've also been able to sneak a fuck in here and there with a buddy almost in public with no one seeing a damn thing ( the straight couples do it and as spectacle damned if I am doing it in the bushes), I pick up sometimes and other times I don't, sometimes I meet men, others women, sometimes both but I never have any problem making friends and fitting in, because there is such a thing as gentlemanly conduct, which isn't about being a goody two shoes its about holding the line that keeps the messy animal masculinity in one optic and a managed polite and safe masculine power in the mainstream. A gentleman waits until given consent and in private to be nasty and filthy and do things that are not right. With a partner who is there for that. A gentleman smooths the social fabric most often to tear it on special occasions.

There are swingers beaches in Croatia and so on with full on monkey fucking nonsense and cap dadge too where your POV would be super fine and welcomed. I ain't saying its bad either, nor that I would not go, just that they are there and I think to your liking. One of the things I am proud of is making women comfortable and feeling safe in nude environments and at the same time, not hiding my masculinity or even being a safe gay (I tell em I have eaten lots of pussy if they ask), but the deal is I waited to be spoken to and was not spotted ogling the seas of flesh, and over two three years, met all the ladies at my beach and couples and so on, and they know I am not a safe bear, but we're friends already. And most people (M or F) like a bit of objectification now and again, they just want to ask for it first and get to that point naturally in the discourse. Like the male you play at the top of the thread is really sexy for women if you let it out after doing the do and the two do and three do, demonstrating you can hold it in for a minute when they ask for something like that because then it's out of character and unexpectd and in a sexy time because that is the only place she gonna ask for it. The proof of the pudding is to get accepted and permitted to transgress (and that can be long term or never) without having forced anything. I would ask myself "why am I not making inroads" not "it's them not me". But I don't have this problem so...

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Dude, don't spend lots of time on this..)) How long have you been living without sex? This need is necessary to have in our life. If you're concerned, try to distract by watching on beaitiful girls from here https://bongaprofiles.com/model/Wild-Angel777 and maybe it will also improve your relationships. In any way, it can be a good way to relax at the end of the day.

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There's an easy answer... If I stop looking, you better check for a pulse. One friends wife said "I don't care where he gets his appetite, as long as he's eating at home. If you wife tells you she doesn't look at the bulge (or lack of) in a man's swim trunks, she's either blind, or lying. Discretion is the utmost necessity. Be discrete when you look. Don't stare, don't drool, just look, then look away. It's NATURAL

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