Are my friends swingers?
My husband and I are not swingers, but we think our friends are. Swinging has been a topic that they bring up jokingly every month with us.
We started hanging out with them regularly a year and a half ago, and things have become increasingly weird. It started out with my friends husband staring at me during dinner, and with sexual innuendos such as my female friend pretending to hump my face(from a foot away)in front of our husbands.
It has since progressed to them trying trade seats with us in cars and on the couch. As well, my friend's husband has started to comment on my appearance and touch me in front of my husband and his wife. My friend seems to have no issue with this, and even prompts him to do it.For example, when we were eating fondue, she mentioned that I did not have my food in the boiling oil, and her husband continued to take my hand and help me cook my food while she was watching. The last time we went to dinner, he made blatant sexual remarks about me, and my friend suggested she wanted to grab my ass and then she kissed me on the check. I had too much to drink that night and apparently ended up cuddling with them on the couch, but I remember nothing. When I found out what I had done I apologized, but they insisted it was alot of fun and that I should not be ashamed. What are the chances that my friend, and her husband, are swingers?
It's all done in such a way that is subtle enough where my husband does not get offended, yet blatant enough where he also feels that there is a fair to good chance that they are merely trying to casually broach the topic of swapping or something, that we can't quite pinpoint.
There's also the factor, that between us, I tend to have more in common in conversation with her husband, where my husband seems to have more in common with his wife, and so, either by accident or intent out conversations often tend to split along those lines.
Based off of this, what would you guys tend to think of the situation, and what are your opinions of what their intents might be? It's especially difficult to discuss how to proceed when there isn't any real certainty in what the actual situation might be.
Thanks
Dear Curious,
I am perhaps the least qualified person to leave a comment for you, but here it goes. I have been married for 19 years and my wife and I have not had Sex in 28 months, we have probably gone 10 times without Sex for over 6 months at a time, hence, I am on this site, which she knows about.
What if, next month when you 2 get together with this couple, and things get a little heated, where you think they are pushing the line, You just ask, "Are You Two Swingers, and What Are Your Intentions With Us? It may be very direct, but there actions certainly to appear as though they are swingers. Your question should not be anymore offensive than their actions in front of the two of you.
It is hard to have this cloud of wounder and doubt over you and it would be better to get it out in the open. If they are swingers, they shouldn't be offended, If they are not swingers, they should be embarrassed for doing this stuff in front of you.
Please let us know how this works, or what you have done in the interim while this has been happening.
Thanks,
Phil.
I think the straight approach is great, however I also think that you two need to already be prepared for the possible answers. What would you like out of the friendship? What are your boundaries? I think for the most part, swingers and very good at respecting boundaries.