Candaulism
Definition 1:Candaulism is the practice where a person (usually a man) gets aroused and experiences pleasure when his/her partner is seen naked by others. Another definition includes sex, but for many it only is about sharing photos or having their wife seen naked. Other definition:Candaulism is the practice where a person (male or female) gets aroused and experiences pleasure seeing his/her...
- created by explorer3
Looking at my nude wife
Return to DiscussionsThe same reasoning applies to non-landed nudist clubs. My wife and I used to belong to a non-landed club that was run by a married couple. They were very strict about how their members behaved. After that club dissolved, another non-landed club came into existence. It was a coop. That club was a lot more laid back.
I mentioned earlier the non-landed club that was ruled by one lady with an iron hand; and my ex-wife and I eventually quitting it. That's not the end of that story.
A few other disgruntled members got together and decided to form their own club. My wife and I were invited to join and participate in launching it. The "idea" was that it would be more "democratic", and everyone would have a say as far as determining the "tone" of the group. As we discussed it; it quickly became clear that everyone had different ideas, especially as far as "fun" activities. "Naked twister" for example was brought up; and the more "traditional" members shot it down. Some members wanted to get away from "conservative nudist etiquette", while others wanted to maintain it. No consensus could be reached. With no one agreeing, the club basically "failed to launch" and everyone went their separate ways.
The "funny" thing about it was that my wife was on the side of making it "more fun." She had just started embracing her "exhibitionist side", but it was still quite surprising to me to hear her say that she would endorse activities like "Naked twister." And it certainly would have been interesting to see her embracing these activities.
So the group "splintered" into small "factions." My wife and I were good friends with another couple from the group; and since we were on the same page - in terms of "lax" etiquette - we naturally gravitated towards each other. While hanging out at their home; lounging legs open, full body hugs and other forms of physical contact (like massages and cuddling) were normalized and appreciated. We had a "partner swapping" game; where his partner would come sit on my lap and vice-versa. And obviously tits and ass got "touched" in the process lol! It never ended up in sex; we knew where to draw the line. But that was certainly behavior that would never be allowed at a "regular" nudist resort. But when we were there I'm sure people could tell we weren't just "ordinary" nudist friends lol!
I mentioned earlier the non-landed club that was ruled by one lady with an iron hand; and my ex-wife and I eventually quitting it. A few other disgruntled members got together and decided to form their own club... it quickly became clear that everyone had different ideas, especially as far as "fun" activities. "Naked twister" for example was brought up; and the more "traditional" members shot it down. Some members wanted to get away from "conservative nudist etiquette", while others wanted to maintain it. No consensus could be reached. With no one agreeing, the club basically "failed to launch" and everyone went their separate ways.
I think that "naked twister" would be fun, but I can understand why the more "traditional" members would not approve. "Fun" activities like that have the potential to become sexually charged.
The club that my wife and I belong to does have its factions. There are those members who are "traditional" in terms of their viewpoint as to what nudism is about and those who aren't. There are those who swing and those who don't. There are those who like to drink a lot and those who don't. I mention the drinking as I have observed that it is often alcohol that leads to members not behaving "properly".
At our club, it is "officially" against the rules for members or visitors to behave in a manner that is sexually suggestive. Of course, this refers to what they do in the common areas and not behind closed camper doors. The club doesn't want to get a reputation as being a place for swingers. A reputation like that could lead to pressure from the outside community to get rid of the club. The one time when the rules seem to be somewhat more relaxed is late on a Saturday evening when they hold a dance.
Too bad the members of your non-landed club couldn't agree on some of the more 'fun activities". I love how you got together with that couple with full body hugs and other physical contact. It must have turned you on to watch your wife lounging with her legs open in front of the other couple. It also must have turned you on to watch her sit on your friend's lap. I imagine that things got rather close to crossing a line.
I love how you got together with that couple with full body hugs and other physical contact. It must have turned you on to watch your wife lounging with her legs open in front of the other couple. It also must have turned you on to watch her sit on your friend's lap. I imagine that things got rather close to crossing a line.
Thinking about it now...I'm like "Wow." We really did venture into some gray areas there lol!
Over the course of our friendship, some of the things I can recall were: full-body hugs with genitals touching, me "accidentally" touching our female friend's breasts while holding her against me from the side, my hand on her ass-cheek while she sat on my lap.
My wife went much further with our male friend: him "full hand" grabbing her ass and squeezing her cheeks, her giving him a facial "tit hug" by pressing her tits against his face (that one even stunned me), and him running his hand over her tits as she sat on his lap.
He even gave her a full body massage once; and I could have sworn he touched her pussy while running his hand between her cheeks.
I should add that alcohol was heavily involved in all those situations. There were times when I would ask my wife about it afterwards, and she would say that she had no recollection of having been willingly groped. Whether that was entirely true or not...
But those were the "good old days" lol!! My wife now is not a big fan of physical contact, even though we have nudist friends who practice and enjoy it. Which is a bit disappointing lol! She has herself experienced "cutting loose" and flashing her pussy while drunk; so now she's careful not to drink too much. Age has something to do with it too. She has herself admitted that when she was younger, she wouldn't have been opposed to going to a swinger's venue. Damn!!
My wife now is not a big fan of physical contact, even though we have nudist friends who practice and enjoy it. Which is a bit disappointing lol! She has herself experienced "cutting loose" and flashing her pussy while drunk; so now she's careful not to drink too much. Age has something to do with it too. She has herself admitted that when she was younger, she wouldn't have been opposed to going to a swinger's venue. Damn!!
I can relate to much of what you wrote. My wife and I were always rather conservative when it came to having physical contact with other people. We looked down on people who were swingers.
That changed about 10 years ago when a couple we were good friends with told us that they were swingers. We kept our relationship with them "vanilla" because we didn't want to ruin our friendship. We went with them to a swingers club where we watched other couples having sex. What shocked me was how much my wife enjoyed watching other people.
That eventually led to a few soft play experiences. The experiences were mostly limited to using one's hands. My wife and I have discussed allowing things to go further, but there were always too many potential problems including the risk of contracting an STD. We would also need to deal with the emotional aspects.
Lately, things have toned down quite a bit. Age definitely has a lot to do with it. Also, those experiences were somewhat of an "experiment". We've seen both the positive and negative aspects. We are still looking for a male to give my wife a sensual massage.
I know that you enjoyed when your wife uncharacteristically went further with your male friend than you had expected. I can understand how you were "stunned" when she pressed her tits against his face and allowed him to run his hands over them while she sat on his lap. Also, you think he may have touched her pussy while he was giving her a full body massage. Do you think your wife would have objected if he had penetrated her with his fingers? What would have been your reaction? Were you ever concerned that things would get out of hand?
My wife does like a nice massage and a few of them came close to exceeding her limits. Our one gentleman friend would massage her all over, but he would avoid her genitals. The very first time he massaged her he came close to touching her pussy while rubbing her from behind. We discussed it with him afterward, so he knew not to do that the next time.
I can understand how alcohol may have contributed to your wife's naughty behavior. It only takes a couple of glasses of wine for my wife to act silly. I don't see the harm in that as long as you're with trusted friends. I'm not so sure about your wife not remembering what happened. Maybe she was using the alcohol as an excuse for denying responsibility. I think that it's good that she is now limiting the drinking, but I know that you would like her to "cut loose" and act more spontaneously.
So far as your wife saying that, when she was younger, she wouldn't have been opposed to going to a swinger's venue, all I can say is. "If we could only go back in time". My wife and I had a number of opportunities to swing when we were younger, but we always declined. In retrospect, maybe that was a good thing. I wonder where that would have led.
Just to clarify, the "flirty friendship" was with my first wife; some 20 years ago. My current wife is adverse to physical contact while naked (she's the one mentioned in the last paragraph of my post). I know it can get confusing when I co-mingle anecdotes about both wives lol!!Do you think your wife would have objected if he had penetrated her with his fingers? What would have been your reaction? Were you ever concerned that things would get out of hand?
Oh yes, absolutely. With my ex allowing - and even at times encouraging - our male friend to get handsy, I would get concerned that he might pop an erection while my wife was sitting on his lap. I do think though that my wife would have "frozen" and backed away if she'd felt his hard dick rubbing up against her pussy or his fingers sliding in. We did talk about it; and even though she acknowledged enjoying the "hard flirt" and physical contact, she was conscious of the ramifications - potentially negative - of "crossing the line." Swinging was not "part of the plan" for either one of us.
And crossing the line with our male friend would have also put me and our female friend in a precarious situation. As much as she was ok with flirtatious physical contact between all of us, I'm not sure our friend would have been comfortable with an escalation; or crossing the line with me as a response to seeing my wife and her partner "going sexual." We had a good thing going; and crossing the line might have ended it.
Swinging is a whole different thing; with many risks. Even if I actually was into it; it would have to be with people I wouldn't care about ever seeing again. It's already hard enough to make nudist friends that my (current) wife can be comfortable being openly naked around; and I wouldn't want to jeopardize that.
Just to clarify, the "flirty friendship" was with my first wife; some 20 years ago. My current wife is adverse to physical contact while naked (she's the one mentioned in the last paragraph of my post).With my ex allowing - and even at times encouraging - our male friend to get handsy, I would get concerned that he might pop an erection while my wife was sitting on his lap. I do think though that my wife would have "frozen" and backed away if she'd felt his hard dick rubbing up against her pussy or his fingers sliding in. We did talk about it; and even though she acknowledged enjoying the "hard flirt" and physical contact, she was conscious of the ramifications - potentially negative - of "crossing the line." Swinging was not "part of the plan" for either one of us.Swinging is a whole different thing; with many risks. Even if I actually was into it; it would have to be with people I wouldn't care about ever seeing again. It's already hard enough to make nudist friends that my (current) wife can be comfortable being openly naked around; and I wouldn't want to jeopardize that.
Thank you for clarifying things. I did get confused as to which wife you were referring to.
Concerning your first wife: I think if she and your male friend were both nude and she was sitting on his lap, there was obviously a real risk that he would get an erection. Once that happened, it probably wouldn't have taken much more stimulation to cause him to cum.
As a side note, I remember an incident that occurred years ago when my wife and I first visited the nudist club where we go to now. While we were checking in, one of the male members offered to give a young lady a ride on his golf cart. There were both nude. He wanted her to sit on his lap. My memory is a bit fuzzy as I don't know how he could have driven that way. Anyway, I do recall that she said that if he wanted her to do that, he would need to wear a towel. LOL.
When your wife sat on your friend's lap, they were both completely naked. There was no towel to limit direct physical contact. I think she must have found it to be very erotic to push right up to a limit without actually crossing it.
Concerning your second (current) wife: You are right to not want to do anything that could cause her to feel uncomfortable being naked around her friends or that could cause other problems.
Concerning Swinging: I agree with you that there are many risks. That's why my wife and I have avoided it. Where I disagree with you is when you say that, if you were actually to do that, it would have to be with people you don't care about ever seeing again. The problem is, if it's not someone you know well and care about seeing again, wouldn't that take away from the experience? Also, how would you know that they are safe? One of the things that my wife and I don't like is the promiscuity. One couple we knew could meet a person for the first time and then have sex a half hour later. I think they were crazy!
Thank you for clarifying things. I did get confused as to which wife you were referring to.When your wife sat on your friend's lap, they were both completely naked. There was no towel to limit direct physical contact. I think she must have found it to be very erotic to push right up to a limit without actually crossing it
It's funny. I actually have told my (current) wife about my ex. She feels that my ex probably had low self-esteem/body-acceptance; but when she realized how much attention she was getting when she started being openly naked around other nudists, she started craving it. Needless to say, being a young, curvy woman with a shaven pussy - often clearly exposed: she got the attention. And "boys will be boys." I don't blame our male friend at all for finding her arousing and getting handsy with her. She presented herself that way to him. And there is no doubt my ex enjoyed the "interaction" because it made her feel sexy. She just got lucky that he didn't pop an erection while they were "horsing around." That would have made things "real" really quickly lol!
Physical contact between naked people can be a tricky thing. Many resorts frown upon it. It's not hard to understand why. I've exchanged bear hugs with women where their tits were literally pressed against my chest and my dick tip touched their pussy. It's a very arousing experience.
Another thing of note is that my ex was also in her 20's at the time; and my current wife is older. She's just not that interested in "getting attention." At the resort, she knows that people will see her completely naked - and in some instances - including her shaven pussy. But she's not often "looking for it", if that makes sense. She is most often "amused" when she is seen open-legged or naked up-close. And she is not a fan of physical contact. It might be "less fun" than my ex; but I think it's healthier. She simply enjoys being naked - and around other people - rather than showing off to get a reaction. There was always an "element of stress" with my ex...
"boys will be boys." I don't blame our male friend at all for finding her arousing and getting handsy with her. She presented herself that way to him. And there is no doubt my ex enjoyed the "interaction" because it made her feel sexy. She just got lucky that he didn't pop an erection while they were "horsing around." Physical contact between naked people can be a tricky thing. Many resorts frown upon it. It's not hard to understand why. I've exchanged bear hugs with women where their tits were literally pressed against my chest and my dick tip touched their pussy. It's a very arousing experience. my current wife is older. She's just not that interested in "getting attention." At the resort, she knows that people will see her completely naked. But she's not often "looking for it", if that makes sense. I think it's healthier. She simply enjoys being naked - and around other people - rather than showing off to get a reaction.
Your ex-wife was lucky that your friend didn't "pop" an erection while they were horsing around, although I think that would have been normal under the circumstances. It could have happened even if he had not intended it. Would it have been a problem for you if he had cum as long as he didn't penetrate her? You're right not to blame him for finding your lovely wife to be arousing. I would guess that both you and your wife found it flattering. The problem is that one thing could have led to another. I think what makes things fun is when you don't plan for everything. But once the situation gets to a certain point, it may be difficult to stop things from happening.
Yes, physical contact between naked people can be a tricky thing, especially at a nudist club. Not only do you run the risk of being too familiar and offending the person, but there is also the chance that you could get in trouble. I, too, have hugged naked women but I was usually very conscious as to how much contact I was making. It can be a fine line. I might kiss a woman in a friendly way but avoid getting too close if we were both nude.
This can be even more tricky at the dances at our nudist club. When my wife and I are slow dancing nude with other people, it's almost impossible to avoid physical contact. For this reason, she'll often put on something, but not always. I remember one time in particular when a male friend got an erection while dancing with her. She told me that his cock was poking against her tummy.
Your current wife is similar to mine in that she simply enjoys being nude and is not necessarily looking to get attention. She is confident in her own body and doesn't feel that she needs to show it off. In that regard, it is a healthy nudist lifestyle. But there have been times when my wife received attention even though she wasn't actively seeking it.
For example, I remember when we were sunbathing by the pool with a male friend. He was single, He got an erection that we both could see. No doubt, he was turned on by seeing my naked wife. We were sitting by the back of the deck. It was late in the afternoon and there weren't too many people around.
Would it have been a problem for you if he had cum as long as he didn't penetrate her? You're right not to blame him for finding your lovely wife to be arousing. I would guess that both you and your wife found it flattering.
Good question. Tbh honest I was actually a bit surprised that I never saw him get hard; especially with the lap-sitting and her pussy being so close to his dick. When I got "cozy" with his partner, I would keep my dick tucked between my legs to avoid getting hard; I assume he did the same thing lol!
But if he had gotten hard and jizzed from the rubbing of her ass against his dick, I think I would have been mostly confused. "Ok...what is supposed to happen now?!" It would have depended a lot on my wife and his partner's reaction. Worst case scenario: my wife would have been embarrassed and his GF shocked/upset; and it would have been a potentially friendship-ending stressful situation. "Best" case scenario: both women acknowledging - and embracing - our friendship taking a "turn." I can't see us ever swinging; but considering we were already handsy with each other, it's not hard to imagine that would have escalated to "heavy contact." Group massages now including tits, ass and pussy; open erections and a lot of friction. Could have been fun and spiced up our sex lives...or not. You never can tell.
Ironically, my current wife is more familiar with causing an erection. It's happened while we were at a nudist BnB playing pool and repeatedly bending over the pool table, causing a young man to get erect. My wife had no problem with it. Actually I think she's amused and flattered that she can cause that reaction at her age lol! Because of how she's "built", the visual of seeing her pussy is different from my ex, who had a simple slit. My wife is "meaty", if you catch my drift. So when she's bent over or legs open, she'd more likely to get a reaction; which she's fully aware of! Erections don't bother her -as long as it's not "in her face!"
if he had gotten hard and jizzed from the rubbing of her ass against his dick, I think I would have been mostly confused. "Ok...what is supposed to happen now?!" It would have depended a lot on my wife and his partner's reaction. Worst case scenario: my wife would have been embarrassed and his GF shocked/upset; and it would have been a potentially friendship-ending stressful situation.Ironically, my current wife is more familiar with causing an erection. It's happened while we were at a nudist BnB playing pool and repeatedly bending over the pool table, causing a young man to get erect. My wife had no problem with it. Actually I think she's amused and flattered that she can cause that reaction at her age lol!
I assume that your first wife and you never discussed limits with the other couple. You had an unspoken understanding. If he had ejaculated while your wife was sitting on his lap, you would probably have been upset and confused, wondering whether he had done that on purpose and how close his cum had gotten to her pussy. If it was an accident and no contact was made to her pussy, then no real harm. But at the time, you might not have been able to know for sure what actually happened. Hopefully, if the contact had crossed a line, he would have apologized. I find it amusing that you felt the need to tuck in your dick when you got "cozy" with the other woman. If you had gotten an erection, do you think the other woman would have gotten upset? What would have been her husband's reaction and that of your wife? I'm only talking about an erection and not actually having sex. It seems silly to me to be concerned about having an erection when you're already getting "handsy".
I like your story about how your current wife caused a young man to get an erection while she was playing pool at the nudist BNB. It's good that she had no problem with it and that she felt "amused and flattered". I wonder if, when she bent over the pool table, she deliberately did it in a way to get his attention. If not deliberate, then it was probably at least subconscious. At the risk of appearing sexist, I think that women are wired that way. I get the impression that the incident was especially flattering for her because she was older than he was. Do you recall the age difference? It must have been a thrill for you to witness that. That goes back to our love of candaulism. You and I both love when our wives are naked in front of other people, especially in situations where we know that another person is admiring her body. When that young man got an erection, there was no hiding the fact that your wife had a powerful effect on him. I imagine that your wife was rather excited about it afterward.
I do understand that your wife is usually subtle in the way she behaves when she is nude with other people. My wife is that way too. But there are the occasional times when it is obvious that another person is admiring her. It might not be as blatant as that young man getting an erection. Maybe a person looks at her a certain way when she walks by the pool.